When you stand beside them
I remember having a conversation with my best friend several years ago. I remember talking about how I felt standing next to a particular person that I was involved with at the time. Standing beside him, I felt diminished, less than. This was the case with most of the boys/men that I had been involved with in my life. There was a subtle and sometimes not so subtle "pull down" in my energy. Why would I form a bond or remain in one given this experience? The answer is that I didn't really know that I could be experiencing something else. I didn't really know that there was a better, clearer, kinder experience to be had. It seemed that drama was what relationships were made of and that one was left to just pick which dramatic poison we'd struggle through.
Forming a meaningful connection just because you enjoy loving someone
I literally had never heard of someone doing this. It seemed that most people, when it came down to it, didn't really like their lovers. It seemed that they wanted something from them and when they didn't get that thing how or when they wanted, that they then switched to strongly disliked the other. I somewhat followed suit in this pattern of behavior. Who was the person I was with if they were not being who or what I wanted? Who was I if I were not being or doing what they wanted? The idea of enjoying loving them was most always interrupted by fear and emptiness. Until recently, I'm not sure that I ever really enjoyed loving someone as I 1.) had no idea how to give love or let it in and 2.) I was too full of fear to be truly authentic. It's challenging to experience the joy of loving someone while trying not to get hurt. If a person isn't close enough to you to (potentially) hurt you, then they also aren't close enough to you for you to feel loved by them. Feeling loved and being loving involve risk and hence courage.
In communing with them you feel more connected to your higher self
When in their presence, you want to pray, meditate, be in nature, watch informative documentaries, read books, discuss life lessons, esoterics and existentialism. When around them you feel closer to the best parts of yourself. You're at your best easily. You think of ways you could improve. They model behaviors and principles you desire to emulate.
You feel uplifted in their presence
Back to what I referenced earlier. A tell tale sign that a connection is healthy is that we feel uplifted in that person's presence. Feeling uplifted likely means that this person naturally thinks good thoughts about you. Spend more time around people you feel uplifted by.
The Natural Outcome of spending time with them is a sense of Inner Harmony the results in increased clarity about your own path.
When spending time with them, you feel at ease inside. Somehow inner conflict is decreased and you feel calm and clear. Ideas come to you about next steps along your path. This is a good sign that this person may be a conduit or facilitator along your path or at the very least a source of peace and kindness which allows you to observe your own thoughts more clearly.
Pay attention to how you feel in people's presence. Pay attention to the cues your inner self gives you about the experience. Only engage in activities and conversations that you feel wholely on board with. Don't cloud your experiences with half- heartedness. Be fully there, fully present. Get everything there is to get from being your fullest self in each moment and choose your person from there.
To Bliss and Beyond.
Feel free to contact me for One on One Guided Introspective Love Work toward bringing the experience of Pure Being and True Connection into your life.
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